


LGBTQ+ Grumps!

by hannahwritesthings



Category: Game Grumps
Genre: genderfluid!Arin
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-08-13
Updated: 2015-08-17
Packaged: 2018-04-14 11:09:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,931
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4562364
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hannahwritesthings/pseuds/hannahwritesthings
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>GRUMPS OF ALL GENDERS AND ORIENTATIONS! YAY!</p><p> </p><p>(this used to be titled Gender Grumps if anyone was confused)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Best Friend

“Suzy, I don’t know if I can do this.”

She finished tying my hair up and smiled at me in the mirror, “It’s Dan. He’ll be surprised for three seconds and then make a joke about your skirt. It’s gonna be fine, you look great.”

Despite her words, anxiety bubbled in my stomach. I was only out to Suzy, and doing that was terrifying. I still remember every detail of that night, down to what color my nails were painted.

The doorbell chimed. “Suzy!” I whispered panicking, “I can’t I actually can’t I think I’m gonna throw up Christ, Suzy I’m gonna vom-”

“Stop!” She grabbed my face gently, “You’ve backed out three times already. You told me this morning not to let you out again.”

“Yeah bu-”

“No.” She interrupted, “Go answer the door. I’ll be behind you the whole time.” Grinning, she kissed my cheek and gave me a light push toward the door.

I looked at her with frantic eyes, “At least let him in for me, I-I’m not ready, uh, yet.”

“Fine,” She sighed, “Stop biting your lip, you’re gonna fuck up your lipstick, and that was the best kind I have.” I released my bottom lip and she walked out, triumphant.

I heard the door open and Dan’s loud greeting, “SCUZE!” He probably sweeped her up in a hug, by the way she laughed and squealed. “Where’s Arin?”

“Um, he’s, uh, in the bathr-”

“I’m right here.” I stepped into the room and looked him in the eye.

“So, are you shooting a video or something, Suzy?” Dan asked.

“Nope. Um, Dan, Arin? Why don’t we sit down.” She grabbed his hand and walked to the couch. I sat in a chair across from him. 

The look on his face made my heart drop. “Then wh-what’s up with... with the dress and all- uh, all that?”

She looked at me, “Don’t you have something to tell Dan?”

I swallowed hard, “S-so you know how I always play as girls in video games?” My voice faltered and I clenched my teeth so hard I thought they would break.

“Arin, are you a girl?” Dan asked calmly. “Because if you are that’s totally cool and not a big deal at all.” Okay, so he’s not transphobic, that’s a good sign.

“K-kinda?” Dan looked at me, then to Suzy, and back at me in confusion.

“Kinda?”

“So, like, I’m a girl right now, but sometimes I’m a dude.” I explained, trying not to sound like I was going to cry. “It’s called being genderfluid.”

“Wh- that’s a thing?” He said with a confused look on his face. After I was silent for a moment he gasped, “Oh shit, was that mean? Sorry, I literally didn’t know dude- or, uh, girl, sorry.” He covered his face in his hands, “I’m really sorry. I’m just new to all this stuff. It was never a thing, changing genders, when I was younger. Or at least I never really heard about it.”

“It’s fine dude. I understand.” I took a deep breath, “Dan, I’m genderfluid, and right now I’m a girl.”

“Okay.” He smiled at me, “So, are you still Arin? Or do you have a girl name?”

“Arin can be a girl name.” Suzy pointed out.

Dan pursed his lips, “But isn’t it usually spelled E-R-I-N?”

“Not necessarily.”

“I’m still Arin, A-R-I-N.” I chuckled.

He sighed in relief, “Good, I would fuck up constantly if you had two names. I can barely remember my own name!” We all laughed and I felt my heart lift up. _I think it’s gonna be okay._

 


	2. The Mall

“Arin, honey, get out of the car.” I held her door open and talked gently, “You promised we’d do this today.”

“I changed my mind.” She crossed her arms and bit her lip.

Groaning, I said, “Come on, we’re already here! I know it’s scary, but I’m here for you, buddy.”

“I don’t know dude... what if we get kicked out of a store?”

“Then,” I smirked, “We get the Lovelies to boycott the store. They don’t need to know why, we could make up some bullshit like we always do.”

Her eyes widened, “THE LOVELIES!”

“What? What about them?”

“What if we run into some! While I’m in a fucking dress! That’s it I’m not doing it nope no way.” She tried to shut the door but I held tight.

“Dude. Are you fucking joking? You have sang that one lion king song from the top of your goddamn lungs while pumping gas. You have shouted “PENIS” in public places.” She chuckled quietly and I continued, “You think the Lovelies are gonna think anything of you being in a dress? We’ll just say it’s for a video, then we’ll make a fucking video. It won’t be the first time you’ve worn a dress on the channel.” I reached my hand out and pulled her out of the car.

“I’m ready.”

I smiled brightly, “Then lets go.”

**~**

The first store we tried was Forever 21. I felt like the only guy in that entire store.

The first dress she grabbed was a dark red- “What kind is it?”

“It’s a t shirt dress. Suzy taught me each type of dress and what body types they’re best for. I think she said these and, gah fuck what was it... oh! Maxi! Maxi dresses, because I’m, “fucking tall as shit.”.” She air quoted. I laughed as she rifled through sizes. “You think I’d be a large?”

I shrugged, “Dude, I barely know what size I am in guys clothes. Just try it on.” She rolled her eyes.

“Okay fine, I’m gonna grab a couple different colors. Would you come with me and just like... hang out outside?”

“Of course, let’s go.” She grabbed a black one and a blue one along with the red and we walked towards the rooms.

The dressing room attendant looked confused but smiled and asked, “How many items, sir?”

I cleared my throat and stepped in front of Arin, “ _She_ has three dresses, miss.”

She nodded and handed her a number, telling her to pick whatever one she wanted. She, of course, took the family sized one.

After a few minutes of quiet fumbling noises and whispers of, “Shit.” Arin spoke up. “Danny, it doesn’t fit.”

“Too big? Too small? What’re we talkin’ here Arin.” I could tell from her silence she was embarrassed. “Wait there.” I quickly walked out of the changing rooms and found a saleswoman. “Ma’am?”

“Yes?”

“Where’s the girl’s plus size section?” She gave me a strange look but pointed me in the right direction and I thanked her before jogging over quickly. Another woman with a nametag that read “Lily” walked over to me.

“Need help?” She smiled kindly.

“Ah, yeah, I’m helping my friend shop. She said she needs a bigger size than the regular large? And she likes maxi dresses and t shirt dresses.”

Lily nodded and walked to a rack, sliding one off. “Would she like this?” The dress was stunning. It was a dark blue, the top connected and looked like a pearl necklace.

“She’ll love it.” I grinned confidently. She pulled it down in three sizes, “Just in case.”

On my way back to Arin, something caught my eye. A black tank top with the rolling stones logo on it. I walked over, cautiously looking over my shoulders. I felt the material, it was the softest thing I’d ever felt! I pulled it off the rack, and noticed it was long. Like, really long. “Oh shit.” It was a dress. It was a dress, but I was in love with it. The material at the bottom, starting about mid thigh, became almost see through. I wanted this dress. _But, I’m a guy? Guys don’t wear dresses..._ Nevertheless, I grabbed one that looked my size and stuffed it into the pile with Arin’s dresses.

When I reached the dressing rooms I knocked on Arin’s door lightly and asked, “Hey, can I come in?” I heard the door unlock and I stepped in. “Here.” I handed her the dresses and held tightly to mine, embarrassed.

She was in a bra and underwear, but I pretended I didn’t notice. “Why three?” She asked.

“The lady said to grab three incase two don’t fit right.”

“Good plan. But, why’d you come in?” I sighed and held up my dress. She smiled, “Well put it on! I wanna see.”

“Put yours on at the same time.”

“Fine.” She unzipped the back of the smallest of the three. I focused on not stepping on the bottom of the dress with my giant feet and steadied myself with one hand on the wall as I slipped into it.

“Hey, Dan. Zip me up.”

“Sure thing buddy.” She held her hair up and I zipped it up.

Smiling, she asked, “How do I look?”

“You look...” I held her in suspense for fun. When she looked ready to burst I said, “Lovely.”

Her grin lit up the room. “Here,” She pulled the straps of my dress up and turned me to look in the mirror. “Not too bad, Avidan.”

I took a long look at myself. “What does this mean, Arin? I’m not a girl, I know that for sure.”

“I don’t know, dude. You're the only one who really knows who you are and how you feel. You're probably just a dude who likes a dress. Don’t sweat it. C’mon,” She whipped out her phone, “Suzy wanted to see my dress, she’s gonna flip when you’re in one too.”

I sighed and stood next to her, striking a pose. We spent almost ten minutes taking stupid pictures and sending them to Suzy.

We undressed and headed to the check out.

Arin looked at her watch and asked, “Food court?”

“Food court.” 


	3. The Wife

**WARNING: This chapter contains homophobic slurs, gendered slurs, and generally disturbing content. Reader’s discretion is advised.**

Arin decided to come out to the rest of the grumps on a female day, just as he’d done with Suzy and Danny. The three of them had sat together for a few hours each day the week before, trying to figure out how to do it. When Arin finally pussied up and decided to tell everyone, they had expected questions. They’d expected everyone to ask Arin things like, “What are you gonna do with your dick?” and “When are you gonna tell the Lovelies?”, and they were prepared for them all.   

What they hadn’t anticipated was for anyone to ask _Suzy_ anything.

“So does this make you bisexual?” Ross picked at his nails.

Arin furrowed her brows, “What does that have to do w-”

“I was talking to her.” Ross looked up at Suzy.

Suzy’s eyes widened and she looked from Ross to Arin, going back and forth between them a few times before settling her gaze on her feet and whispering, “I-I don’t really know.”

“Come on Ross. This was supposed to be about Arin!” Danny sighed and wrapped his arm around Arin, “Let’s figure Suzy out another day. For now, let’s just celebrate our special gal!” They all cheered, except Suzy.

She spent Arin’s whole coming out party trying to be positive and social, but she couldn’t. She was controlling a panic inside her. A full blown identity crisis. She’d always identified as straight. Of course, every girl had found other girls attractive at times... right? Every straight girl kissed another girl, or two, or three... _Forget it. I’m straight,_  She thought. But she couldn’t suppress the feeling that maybe, just maybe, Ross was right.

She loved her spouse, whether Arin was a she or a he or neither or both. That was something she knew for a fact, and she clung onto it, feeling like it was the only bit of reality she had left.

The party ended, everyone else left, the lights went dim and Suzy sat on the couch, head in hands. Arin smoothed her dress down as she sat next to Suzy.

“What’s wrong honey?” She wrapped an arm around her wife, trying to comfort her.

Suzy looked up at Arin, “Am I bisexual?”

“I mean...” She licked her lips as she thought. “I guess. I mean, you love me when I’m a girl just as much as when I’m a guy...”

“Yeah...” Suzy had a splitting headache.

“Wouldn’t that just be romantic orientation though?” Danny called from the doorway.

“Way to make shit complicated, Dan!” He was only half kidding, slight annoyance apparent in his voice.

“Sorry, I was just reading about it because I wanted to understand all that gender biz.” He walked over and sat down, still talking energetically, “And then I kept clicking on more and more wiki pages and I found out that apparently this gender and sexuality stuff is a whole lot more complicated than I thought...” Dan ran a hand through his hair.

Rubbing her temples, Suzy groaned, “I need to lie down...” She felt herself slipping out of consciousness, the pain becoming less and less bearable by the second.

“Sure thing sweetie.” Arin jumped up and pulled the lever slowly, flattening out the couch. “Dan and I will go get some dinner or something. You should take a nap.”

“Feel better, Scuze.” Danny squeezed her hand lightly.

“Love you, Suzy.” Arin kissed her gently, before walking out with Dan, making sure to shut the door as quietly as possible.

* * *

 

Suzy hadn’t had a sleep paralysis episode since she was broke and hungry, working at Disney with Arin. Back then the dreams were always her being trapped, just watching as Arin starved to death and deteriorated in front of her. After it had been happening for months, Arin started to set a timer, waking him up at 3 in the morning to snap Suzy out of it.

But now she was alone. And these were new terrors. Ones she’d never thought to face. Slowly, one by one, each of her closest friends lined up in front of her. _Is it possible to have a good sleep paralysis dream?_

No. Of course not.

Ross was the first to hurl an insult.

A sneer on his lips, “Fucking greedy bitch. You just want to fuck everyone, don’t you? Slut.” Suzy felt tears drip down her face, but her arms wouldn't move no matter how hard she tried.

Barry stepped forward, “That’s disgusting. How can you fuck a woman? Faggot.” It’s just a dream, don’t let them hurt you.

But as much as she wanted to believe herself, it all looked so real. The way Dan’s hair bounced as he stepped toward her, it had to be real! “Whore.” She swallowed hard as his hand pulled back, suddenly snapping down and ripping across her cheek. IT DIDN’T HURT, IT’S A DREAM. It’s true, it didn’t physically hurt, but the thought of Dan slapping her was enough to make her scream.

Arin stepped forward, and there was nothing but pure panic flowing through her entire body. No, not Arin. Arin loves me, Arin would never hurt me. “You stole my day. Can’t you keep the spotlight off yourself for one damn second and let me be happy?” They shouted. “IT WAS MY FUCKING DAY SUZY!” The shout rippled through her body, and she grew hot. “WHY IS EVERYTHING IS ABOUT SUZY.”

They all began to scream, “SUZY SUZY SUZY SUZY!” She saw a fist fly at her, but it never landed.

Then, she was awake. Cradled in Dan’s arms, she was shaking and sweating, tears all over her face. He was whispering her name gently in her ear, trying his hardest to wake her up without frightening her.

“I’m sorry!” She cried out, her throat hoarse, trying to push away from him, but he held her tightly.

“Sh, Suzy, it’s okay! You’re okay.” He cooed, repeating it over and over again, rocking them back and forth.

When her breathing steadied and she stopped struggling, he loosened his grip and asked what happened. “I-I had a bad dream.” She touched her face gingerly where dream Dan had struck her. “Sleep paralysis, no big deal. Is Arin here?” She looked around the room, but couldn't find her.

“Arin went home, she ate something that made her sick and sent me to come take you home. When I got here, I found you screaming in your sleep.” He scoffed, “Christ, 'No big deal'... you were having a fucking panic attack.”

Suzy looked down, embarrassed. No one but Arin had seen her in that ridiculous state. “I- um, I’m sorry you had to see me like that.”

Dan chuckled, “You should not be apologizing for that. I should be apologizing for not getting here quicker.” He sheepishly held up a 7-Eleven bag, “Want some ice tea?”

She took it with a weak smile, but didn’t leave his embrace, even though she had to twist in an awkward position to take a sip. She needed the stability.

“Suzy, what happened in that dream?” She said nothing, just focused on her tea. “What was so bad that you can’t even look me in the eye?” She still refused to meet his gaze.

Silence filled the room for a few moments, and a mischievous grin grew on Dan’s face. He grabbed Suzy’s sides suddenly and tickled her ferociously.

“Danny!” She squealed, laughing. He kept going until she had squirmed into a position where he could look her in the eye.

The mood grew somber again as he grabbed her hand lightly and asked, “What happened?”

Suzy took a deep breath, and began to speak.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry this one has such a fucked up part, but i was thinking about it, and discovering your sexuality isn't a cake walk. it's scary and hard and can give you scars in your mind and body.  
> this chapter was just to show reality.  
> sorry again, it wasn't originally planned to be this heavy, but hey, c'est la vie.


End file.
